Oh come now HMRC, I hope this is not true. This is a note from my trusty sidekick Penfold. I've never seen him so angry before? I forward his note to you in full and trust that you will take note and act accordingly.
Crumbs DM!, - Those peskey HMRC people are at it again. You remember my aunt in Abergavenny who sends me cookies? Well, she cannot send me anymore for the time being. Her costs have increased by 17.5%. None of her expenses where she is incurring tax are being repaid.
Her phone bills, her IT bills, her business costs are all being withheld by HMRC. She then got a solicitor to sort this out and they wont even pay the vat back on those bills either! She is stuffed.
I am going to Wales to stay with her for a week. I'm sorry I cannot assist you with any secret missions until then, but this cannot be helped Chief. I think Leslie Strathie is behind all of this.
Her phone bills, her IT bills, her business costs are all being withheld by HMRC. She then got a solicitor to sort this out and they wont even pay the vat back on those bills either! She is stuffed.
I am going to Wales to stay with her for a week. I'm sorry I cannot assist you with any secret missions until then, but this cannot be helped Chief. I think Leslie Strathie is behind all of this.
Yours, Penfold
Dear Ms Strathie,
Penfold is my loyal sidekick and your stance in this respect is plainly unjustified and unlawful.
Penfold's aunt has an absolute legal right to deduct VAT under the Sixth Directive together with a basic right to legal certainty and fiscal neutrality in her dealings with HMRC. She also has a right to go about her business without unlawful restraint or interference from others.
Now because of you, I dont get any cookies! Stop terrorising businesses and do something more constructive instead.
Oh and don't EVER step onto a Zebra crossing in front of me, you parasitical pissflap.
Yours sincerely,
DM
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