Thursday, 24 March 2011

HMRC's Granny Bashing Antics

Dear HMRC,

I don't believe that anyone who is not working and is of pensionable age should be paying tax at all, however your hard-as-nails debt collectors have managed to threaten to visit the home of a frail 95-year-old widow and confiscate her possessions, even though she has paid too much tax.

The letter warned: 'We are arranging a visit to your house. We will view your possessions and list those that we will sell at auction. We strongly advise you to avoid this as it will cost you much more to pay this way and can be embarrassing.'

Ironic really as it turns out that the embarrassment is all HMRC's - again! It's been plastered all over the internet here, here and here for the world to witness your tough stance on old people.

If you insist on bullying old and vulnerable widows because they are easy targets - at least make damn sure that they actually owe you money.


Saturday, 19 March 2011



"We live in a country which is committed to the rule of law. Central to that commitment is that justice is done in public - that what goes on in court and what the courts decide is open to scrutiny1. This is not a new fundamental principle. In 1829, for instance, Bayley J in Daubney v Cooper said this,

‘. . . we are all of the opinion, that it is one of the essential qualities of a Court of Justice that its proceedings should be in public, and that all parties who may be desirous of hearing what is going on, if there be room in the place for that purpose, - provided they do not interrupt the proceedings and provided there is no specific reason why they should be removed – have the right to be present for the purpose of hearing what is going on

The full report is right here....

Until Legal certainty is given back and tribunal decisions are not blatantly biased and bigoted, I remain of the view that there is no rule of law, or the rule of law applies to some and not others.

So when I think of a Judge doing "justice", I still see this...........,

Friday, 18 March 2011

Cutting HMRC's Red Tape

The Telegraph has launched a campaign to cut through red tape. So, for all you poor bastards stuck on 'extended verification' for a vat return that you submitted donkeys years ago, then do something about it.

Email: and tell them all about extended verification. I defy anyone to find a better example of extreme red tape.

Do it. You have nothing to lose. HMRC is now known for their incompetence, so the timing is perfect.

Customs raids - Massive FAIL

Dear HMRC,
It has been reported by the BBC that Customs officers raided 20 premises in Witney, Banbury and Watlington on 9 and 10 March.

Apprantley, 57,000 cigarettes, 2.9 kilos of tobacco and a car were siezed to stop the storage and sale of tobacco where no duty has been paid.

HMRC told the press that the tax 'evaded' on the seized products was about £12,000 and that no-one was arrested during the raids.

OK - so riddle me this....

A whopping 20 premises were raised and £12,000 of unpaid duty uncovered.... really? Only £12,000? When the CIA uncover a crime, they usually wait until the opportune moment before pouncing for maximum impact and usually make sure they capture the kingpin.

Twenty premises, £12,000 of unpaid duty and no-one was captured? Oh come on! What you gonna do now? - arrest the buildings?

So, to summarise...... 20 premises at a moment in time where the buildings were unoccupied by anyone and £12,000 of alleged unpaid duty. If no-one was in the buildings, how do you know the duty is unpaid?

It seems to me that someone very dumb, who has no patience decided to get gung-ho and charge in for his ego-fix too early. Self restraint is important yet lacking in all respects.

One big FAIL. You should beg the BBC to withdraw this 'news' because its very embarassing for your already battered image.

And yes... I can talk. I am Dangermouse.


Thursday, 17 March 2011

Tax Chaos Limps on at HMRC

Dear Mike,

Thank you for going on record to clarify that you need until 2013 to stop the chaos in the tax system. Considering you launched HMRC in 2005 and it became a monumental shitpile by 2008 and has been limping on for three further years since, what difference does two more years make?

Here are four basic things you should think about. Perhaps then, the bucket loads of incompetence by inept morons in your office might just stop. As shit flows downhill, you dear Commissioner, are responsible.

HMRC cannot tell the difference between a 'taxpayer' and 'customer'
HMRC don't understand the difference between 'tax-avoidance' and 'tax-evasion'
HMRC don't give 'legal certainty' and break the rules of 'fiscal neutrality'
HMRC abuse their own employees and the taxpayers.

Try having a go at fixing these four points and the department might.... just might start to gain some respect.

Until then Mike, HMRC remains a pile of steaming shit held in contempt by their own employees and every taxpayer who has to endure the stench when they open your letters.


Wednesday, 16 March 2011

Above the law - dont you know?

Dear HMRC,

You poor wee bastards have taken so much shite lately. Now it seems that the Treasury Select Committee are taking away your some of your favourite toys.

"HMRC's powers should be limited and should be subject to reasonable challenge in the courts. The public interest in ensuring that HMRC is not sole arbiter of the law overrides the interest in certainty."

Now I know that HMRC are above the law in their domain. I know you've been abusing the taxpayers and your own employees. I know that any private company found doing this would have their balls chopped. But..... that shouldn't apply to you because you are above the law.

Good luck with bashing the shit out of taxpayers for 2011. Remember.... the rules dont apply to you.