Dear HMRC,
Oh dear! One of your lot has been jailed for stealing money from taxpayers and pocketing it. Didn't anyone tell him he is supposed to steal it and hand it over to you? He could have avoided jail altogether. Sack the person who trained him. He clearly didn't get the right message across to your employee!
I have to admit, it was a surprise when I read this. Who is this Joff Parsons bloke and which dumbass gave him the anal jobtitle of Head of HMRC's internal governance criminal investigations?
Fancy saying:- "Corruption amongst our staff is rare and will not be tolerated."
This means that they rarely catch anyone so carry on people. Joff Parsons is an incompetent fool.
There are still some private sector businesses you havent screwed and fucked over yet. Please just stop them trading as soon as possible. The country needs to be driven into the shithole and HMRC is the only organisation capable of doing it. It's all down to you!
Also, some pensioners in my area are suffering from dementia. It would be a good opportunity to send some officers around to penalise them for something or other. Fuck it - just make up something and get a few hundred quid out of them. Who cares? They are old, fragile and extremely vulnerable which is your target market. By the time they realise and try and do something about it, chances are they will be dead.
Good luck HMRC. As ever, I am rooting for you and wish you every success in your money collecting endeavours.
Yours sincerely,
DM
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